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excelsior-1

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Jemisa

The Picnic...

I asked my Canadian friend who had visited England last summer "Did you have a good Summer? He replied "Yes indeed, we had a great picnic that afternoon!"................... jem...
12:33 Fri 21st Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 14:47 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

I Don't Remember...

A father came in the bedroom to find his 13-year-old daughter smoking a cigarette. "My God! How long have you been smoking?" screams the father. "Since I lost my virginity," replies the girl. "You...
13:38 Fri 21st Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 14:45 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Demolition...

Ummm, You'll like this link... jemhttp://www.our-wee-country.com/irish-jokes-mrvisk.html...
14:32 Fri 21st Jun 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 14:44 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

Gift For Snow White

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went...
19:36 Thu 20th Jun 20138 answers, last by tonyav 20:35 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

The Sex Shop

A man who recently found out his wife was pregnant enetered a sex shop. Man: Can I have a maternity bra for my wife? Attendent: What bust? Man: The condom!!!...
19:28 Thu 20th Jun 20136 answers, last by enjoyprivate 17:36 Sat 22nd Jun 2013
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gness

How Odd Is This?

I have nightmares and sleepwalk. Last night I woke up to find myself searching for insurance documents in the pile of books at my bedside because in my nightmare I had had a call saying I have been...
14:20 Thu 20th Jun 201331 answers, last by tonyav 18:56 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

It Is The Middle Of Summer.....

..... longest day tomorrow, the weather is very nice these days, all the signs are for a great summer so why the hell am i suffering from a cold????? :-(...
16:54 Thu 20th Jun 201337 answers, last by Svejk 21:27 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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carrust

Who Said?...

Let the 'king barstards eat 'king cake? Mary Ann Tourettes.....
17:09 Thu 20th Jun 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 17:17 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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queenofmean

Would Anyone

Like a slice of Strawberry and Fresh Homemade Chantilly Cream Cake
16:15 Thu 20th Jun 201334 answers, last by tonyav 17:53 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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Ric.ror

Please Read This

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2345050/Girl-15-kept-terminal-cancer-secret-lead-normal-life-died-just-days-completing-GCSEs.html I have no words...
16:01 Thu 20th Jun 201312 answers, last by em10 13:40 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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frozengal

A Old Man To A Doctor

A 60 yr old man goes to visit his doctor for a regular checkup. Oldman: "DOC, you are not going to believe how good I have been feeling lately, I have a new wife and she is only 20 yrs old, and...
13:20 Thu 20th Jun 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 15:51 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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frozengal

A Man At A Graveyard

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying...
13:28 Thu 20th Jun 20133 answers, last by Baldric 10:00 Fri 21st Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Body Talk...

This lady goes to the doctor for a check up. When she gets home her husband asks, "So how did the appointment go?" She replies, "He said, I have the body of a twenty year old. Her husband says, "Oh...
14:27 Thu 20th Jun 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:48 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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Jemisa

Office Joke...

A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks, "May I use your dictaphone?" He replies, "No. Use your finger like everyone else."...
14:39 Thu 20th Jun 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:47 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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queenofmean

Hmm...

I got my first birthday card today a month and a day too early from a penpal. How would you go about telling them thank you very much, but you got the right date (almost) but the wrong month. Such a...
20:13 Wed 19th Jun 201312 answers, last by queenofmean 14:56 Thu 20th Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

I Was On.....

...an engineering website forum today, talking to a guy about the advantages of 12mm 1.25 pitch bolt, to which he replied saying he needed information regarding the 8mm 1.5 pitch bolt. I was in the...
19:48 Wed 19th Jun 201313 answers, last by excelsior-1 20:09 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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excelsior-1

My Friend......

...who was a farmer had a hair brained scheme to breed genetically modified sheep that were twice the size of normal ones. To do so he had to re-mortgage his house to finance it but things didn’t go...
19:51 Wed 19th Jun 20139 answers, last by em10 19:59 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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jim360

Results

So some very kind people wished me good luck for my exams. There's a very short time between sitting the exams and getting the results, and they were released this afternoon, in partial form. Could...
18:34 Wed 19th Jun 201340 answers, last by leahbee 22:51 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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McMouse

Wednesday Ponders

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months,...
09:46 Wed 19th Jun 201314 answers, last by excelsior-1 15:40 Wed 19th Jun 2013
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LochNessMonster

Joke Time ?

A guy goes into a Boots to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the sales assistant? "I don't know." "Go and see my manager Sophie in aisle 4. He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and...
13:23 Wed 19th Jun 20134 answers, last by frugalfred 17:40 Wed 19th Jun 2013

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