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marval

1921 to 1940 of 3998

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marval
LEAD: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly...
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marval
A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!" The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the...
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A newlywed couple on their honeymoon get to the hotel room. When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell...
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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”...
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Adagio Fromaggio: To play in a slow and cheesy manner. AnDante: A musical composition that is infernally slow. Angus Dei: To play with a divine, beefy tone. Anti-phonal: Referring to the prohibition...
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I think these are really good. See what your eyes make of them. http://www.creativebloq.com/art/trompe-loeil-12121498...
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Two elderly gentlemen were having coffee in the resort hotel the morning after their double wedding to their respective elderly wives. Jim said, with concern, "I'll have to see a doctor when I get...
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A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs. The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Astrid, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room....
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I saw two Pheasants racing to get the last few seeds from the bird feed when one fell over. The other pheasant stopped and waited till the first got back on its feet. I thought to myself "fair game"....
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The teacher asks little Johnny, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "H I J K L M N O." "What are you talking about?” the teacher replied. Little Johnny, "Yesterday you...
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An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman. "Where are you from, pal?" asked the Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while. "I'm from the finest country in the whole wide world." Said...
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The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one syllable. "Jane, Do you...
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Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?" Johnny answered, "I was the...
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There was a beer party out in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as...
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It was time for a dog’s annual checkup. Following the vet’s instructions, its owner collected a stool sample and dropped it in a plastic container before they left for his office. When they...
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Two sisters, who are close, are always honest with each other. One evening as one of them prepared for a date, she remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," her sister scolded. "My hair is awful," she...
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“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” “I'm writing a book. I'm almost finished. I numbered the pages. Now all I have to...
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A girl fell in love with a sailor and had his picture tattooed on her right breast. Months later they split up. In due time, she fell in love with a soldier and had his picture tattooed on her left...
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The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time. I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard. I tend to sleep in the...
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I wouldn’t say they were posh, but the toilet coughed before it flushed. I wouldn’t say my wife’s ugly, but the milkman flirts with me. When I was a child, I had wax in my ears. Dad didn’t...

1921 to 1940 of 3998

First Previous 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Next Last