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Shaglene

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Voltage

My New Girlfriend!

My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her!! Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker....
16:21 Fri 09th Mar 201810 answers, last by Voltage 17:42 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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marval

Back To Work

My job advisor has said she will get me back to work “By Hook or by Crook.” If I’m honest, I’d prefer Piracy over Sheep Farming....
19:09 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:16 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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Voltage

What Do You Get?

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog....
20:37 Thu 08th Mar 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 15:13 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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marval

A Man

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on how to be rude to customers. The librarian says, “Kindly eff off, Sir, I’m only halfway through the first chapter myself.”...
22:03 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Voltage 15:16 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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Voltage

I'm Leaving You!

My wife came home from work to find me sitting watching the football.. "I've decided I'm leaving you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else," she said. "I'm also seeing...
07:23 Fri 09th Mar 201831 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:07 Fri 09th Mar 2018
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marval

My Daughter

My daughter was born with an umbrella sticking out of the top of her head. I am worried about her starting college. She has led a very sheltered life....
15:48 Wed 07th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 16:26 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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marval

My Partner

My partner was preparing lunch today when she asked, “Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?” “Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied. I’m hosting a panel show later....
16:09 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 16:24 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

I Got Caught

I got caught up in a freak accident last year when I knocked two bearded ladies off their tandem bike.
16:12 Wed 07th Mar 201822 answers, last by Shaglene 16:21 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Jahulaye

Grass

One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, “Why are you eating grass?” The man replied, “I’m so poor, I...
16:47 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 16:18 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Plane Flights!

During plane flights, I get really bad earache! This year, I've found a solution that'll help. I've booked my wife's seat ten rows back....
06:41 Thu 08th Mar 201817 answers, last by Shaglene 15:57 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My New Girlfriend

My new girlfriend just found out that I'm 42. She said, "You told me that you were 28 and a half!" I said, "I am if you think about it."...
09:59 Thu 08th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:48 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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Voltage

International Women's Day!

Today is international woman's day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready!
12:24 Thu 08th Mar 201811 answers, last by Garaman 17:50 Thu 08th Mar 2018
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marval

Have I?

As a large animal vet I was asked to make a prosthetic hand device for a grizzly bear. Have I made a faux paw?...
18:11 Tue 06th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 15:14 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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marval

I Have

I have been a captain in the army for ten years now and simply refuse to get promoted further. They say I’ve got major issues....
19:41 Tue 06th Mar 201816 answers, last by Shaglene 15:12 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Energy Supplier!

A guy just knocked on my door doing a survey and asked who my energy supplier was. Apparently Red Bull wasn’t the answer he was looking for....
11:25 Wed 07th Mar 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 15:09 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Shopping!

I called my wife from the shop saying I’d forgotten what orange juice she asked for. “Concentrate” she said, but I still couldn’t remember!...
13:40 Wed 07th Mar 20183 answers, last by Shaglene 15:07 Wed 07th Mar 2018
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Shaglene

Telephone Survey...........

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of...
16:18 Tue 06th Mar 20186 answers, last by Patsy33 17:14 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Kettle!

I went into an electrical shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle?' The bloke said, 'Kenwood?' I said, 'Well go and get him then I'm in a hurry'...
15:48 Tue 06th Mar 201833 answers, last by Spicerack 23:14 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Voltage

Alarm Clock

I live for my alarm clock collection. It’s the only reason I get up in the morning....
21:18 Mon 05th Mar 20189 answers, last by Voltage 15:49 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

Rip

The Arabian inventor of the bullet-proof vehicle died today. R.I.P. Ahmed Carr...
18:39 Mon 05th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 07:53 Tue 06th Mar 2018

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