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Shaglene

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marval

I Have

I have been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up....
19:21 Mon 05th Mar 20188 answers, last by Shaglene 07:51 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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marval

My Grandfather

My Grandfather was decorated for bravery in the war. It took him weeks to get the last bits of wallpaper off....
23:15 Mon 05th Mar 20187 answers, last by albaqwerty 12:38 Tue 06th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

What Do You Get

What do you get when you mix a Granny Smith with a Welshman ? A Taffy Apple....
21:33 Sun 04th Mar 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 16:03 Mon 05th Mar 2018
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Voltage

B&q!

Just bought a low energy light bulb from B&Q. Assistant asked "Will you be putting this up yourself?" I said "No its going in the lounge"...
12:28 Mon 05th Mar 201813 answers, last by marval 18:14 Mon 05th Mar 2018
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Patsy33

I'm Looking

I’m looking for some good fish jokes. - If you know any, let minnow.....
12:45 Sat 03rd Mar 201862 answers, last by Shaglene 10:10 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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Voltage

My Neighbour !

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, "volty, I can't get to sleep." "Well it's your lucky day." I said, "I've got a party going on in here, come in."...
20:08 Sat 03rd Mar 20182 answers, last by Shaglene 10:05 Sun 04th Mar 2018
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Voltage

I Said To My Wife

"Women are terrible with directions, aren't they?" I said to my wife in the car. "I don't really know where you're going with this." she replied....
10:07 Fri 02nd Mar 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 18:55 Fri 02nd Mar 2018
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Chipchopper

Snow People

I heard one snowman say to another "can you smell carrots?" The other replied "I duno, I got enough trouble with these lumps of coal in my bloody eyes"...
16:37 Thu 01st Mar 20185 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:41 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Voltage

Wrote A Play!

Wrote a play about weather, we had 5 actors dressed as clouds for the rehearsal. On opening night 6 clouds turned up.. It was overcast!...
17:11 Thu 01st Mar 201813 answers, last by jno 19:33 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Patsy33

Brass Instrument

I got a brass instrument for my birthday, but it's still in it's box, I'm not one to blow my own trumpet....
18:47 Wed 28th Feb 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 15:31 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Voltage

At The Supermarket

I bought a massive fish from the supermarket today, and when I got home I found out that all its insides were missing. Gutted....
09:00 Thu 01st Mar 201813 answers, last by Voltage 17:04 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Patsy33

The Man

The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He'll now be known as the Lord of the Flies....
12:01 Thu 01st Mar 20185 answers, last by Garaman 13:11 Thu 01st Mar 2018
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Chipchopper

Its Just, Crazy On The Roads!!

This morning, I had to overtake a lorry and wave him down. I shouted to him "you're losing your load mate! He wasn't happy and shouted back "I'm gritting, you idiot!!...
09:37 Wed 28th Feb 20187 answers, last by Patsy33 13:24 Wed 28th Feb 2018
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marval

What Is Wrong?

Quasimodo went to see Dr Sqad Dr Sqad, after examining him, says, "I think there's something wrong with your back." Quasimodo says, "What makes you say that?" He replies, "Oh, it's just a hunch."...
18:25 Mon 26th Feb 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 15:42 Tue 27th Feb 2018
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Voltage

A Pay Rise!

I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me Boss "which ones?" I said "the electric, gas, & the water"...
08:43 Mon 26th Feb 20184 answers, last by anthro-nerd 16:01 Mon 26th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

New Hat

Just got a new hat for my wife.....best darn trade I ever made!
09:45 Mon 26th Feb 20186 answers, last by Chipchopper 10:42 Tue 27th Feb 2018
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Patsy33

Some Rotter

Some rotter hit me in the street yesterday and ran off with my limbo stick. I mean really, how low can you go?...
10:23 Tue 20th Feb 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 19:03 Tue 20th Feb 2018
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Voltage

Wearing Black!

"Black really is slimming on you, you've never looked sexier!" I assured the missus... "Turn the light back on you idiot!" she replied...
09:26 Sat 17th Feb 20185 answers, last by Shaglene 17:26 Sat 17th Feb 2018
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wolf63

Jesus And His Apostles

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. He decided that a few disciple would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did....
10:46 Sat 17th Feb 20185 answers, last by Garaman 13:29 Sat 17th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Farmers

Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
20:07 Fri 16th Feb 201818 answers, last by Patsy33 10:10 Sat 17th Feb 2018

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