Crosswords1 min ago
To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts. To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket. You can't run but you can hide. To the person while stole my...
News headlines: Iraqi head seeks arms Queen Mary having bottom scraped Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? Prostitutes appeal to Pope Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over NJ judge to rule...
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
A man from Arbroath is taking his former employer at the travelling carnival to court for sacking him, claiming funfair dismissal...
Murphy is laying in bed in hospital covered from head to foot in bandages with just two little slits for his eyes His mate Paddy comes to visit and asks "what happened to you" Murphy says "when i came...
An invisible man and an invisible woman got married.
I'm not sure what they saw in each other.
Their kids were nothing to look at either....
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs - they’re always taking things literally....
Fairy Washing Up Liquid
One bottle lasts longer than three Conservative leaders...
Please add your contributions A burglary was recently committed at Norwich City's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a yellow and...
My grief counsellor died the other day.
He was so good, I didn't give a ***....
When I was in the pub last night I overheard a couple of idiots saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman! What a pair of sexist beggars. I mean, it's not...
All last week my good lady was moaning that i didn't take her out on Saturday nights, So this week as a treat i booked us a table for 8pm What a waste of time that was She did nothing but moan and...
..Girlfriend looks like this..
..she's a keeper.
https:/ /ibb.co /BL6F5L f...
To the person who stole my bed.
I won't rest until I find you....
After years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a young man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she...
I have been telling my son my dad jokes since he was five years old.
He's all groaned up now...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Pedigree Pet food for Scooter my wonder dog at Petsmart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (What did she think I had, an...
Remember the great Shane Warne, a real ladies man. Shane Warne's team mates were perplexed to see Shane with women's panties on his arm. Shane bowled a few overs but no one dare ask him about the...
A Ryanair captain is making an announcement to passengers as follows: "Ladies and gentlemen, the oxygen masks have dropped down. A stewardess will be along shortly to charge you for them. The charge...
One day a woman from died and it hurt her husband who loved her dreadfully. So he got in touch with the finest head stone carver he could find - a man from Yorkshire. He said I wish to have on her...