Family & Relationships0 min ago
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside? "The Lone Ranger said, "I do,...
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf...
A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting. " Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says The two Englishmen just stare at him. "...
I returned my lizard to the pet shop today as it wouldn't stop telling me jokes.
The store assistant said "that isn't a lizard, it is a stand up chameleon."...
First off, THANK YOU EVERYONE for your concern. I'm ok, just a little shaken up after my ordeal at Tesco but I'll be ok. For those of you who don't know what happened, | was robbed yesterday morning...
DD/MM/YYYY
Other formats are available.........
Man "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are two minutes apart"
Doctor "Is this her first child?"
Man "No you idiot, I'm her husband!"...
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a £20 note comes flying out of...
The zoo keeper said to Paddy "the female gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with her for £500" Paddy said " I'll do it but there are 3 conditions. Firstly I won't kiss her and secondly...
Doctor, Doctor i have a lettuce stuck up my bum. It appears it is just the tip of the iceberg!. Doctor, Doctor. I have swallowed a roll of film.. Take this and see how it develops!....
When my outside toilet stopped working properly, I got straight on the phone to report the fault and get someone down to repair it. A voice on the phone said, "I think you have dialled the wrong...
Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
Only if you aim it well enough....
I just lost my job as a landscape gardener.
They said I was a little rough around the hedges....
A man broke down in his mini and he was standing looking in the bonnet when a new Rolls Royce pulled up and the driver asked if he could help. It was agreed that the Rolls Royce would tow the Mini to...
Saw this last night.
https:/
than to wash those muddy wooden shoes in the bathroom sink, now the wash basin is clogged.
A man goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I think I'm going deaf"
The doc says "Can you describe the symptoms?"
The man replies "Yes, Homer is yellow and fat, and Marge has blue hair"...
https:/
I was reminded of this by the Amelia Earhart reference in the previous joke ... The Fukawi Tribe There was once a tribe of very short people who lived on an island in very long grass. One day an...
When is ("F") word is Acceptable? There are only eleven times in history where the "F" word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 11. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are...
