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Chipchopper

861 to 880 of 1500

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Chipchopper

First Date

A young man, out on his first date with his new girl friend had booked a table at a local gastro-pub. When their food arrived, the young man asked the waitress "where are the condiments ?" The...
17:45 Mon 19th Feb 20183 answers, last by EDDIE51 22:35 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Get Up Get Up!!

A mother is waking her son: : "Tyler wake up, you have to go to school." "Aw mum, just a bit more sleep please." "No you really have to get up right now." "But I hate school. The children are nasty to...
10:46 Mon 19th Feb 20181 answer, last by zebo 11:28 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

My Dr

My Doctor told me, he had been practicing for 25 years. I think its about time he started doing it for real....
20:12 Sat 17th Feb 20182 answers, last by maggiebee 12:27 Mon 19th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Farmers

Why do they always put the gate in the muddiest part of the field ?
20:07 Fri 16th Feb 201818 answers, last by Patsy33 10:10 Sat 17th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Sharp Dressed Man

As I entered the living room, in my shiny new suit, to show it off. I heard my wife say "wow you're a vision!" I replied "oh its just a little something that I threw on". "No not you" she said...
19:51 Thu 08th Feb 20184 answers, last by marval 22:28 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Gas Meter Cabinet

Who has the responsibility for the replacement of the exterior, wall mounted (broken) gas meter cabinets. The service provider, tenant, landlord or property owner ?...
20:53 Wed 07th Feb 20185 answers, last by CrapAtCryptics 06:35 Thu 08th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Callers!

A man came round and knocked on my door and asked for a small donation in aid of the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water....
17:23 Tue 06th Feb 20188 answers, last by marval 22:56 Sun 11th Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Gate Crasher

I was mortified when I saw the driver of the refuse collection truck reverse right into my garden gate. I decided not to say anything about his poor driving just in case he took a fence!...
09:43 Fri 02nd Feb 20187 answers, last by Garaman 16:38 Fri 02nd Feb 2018
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Chipchopper

Traffic Report

An articulated lorry shed its load of onions, all over the M1 motorway earlier today. Police have advised motorists to find a hard shoulder to cry on...
11:18 Wed 31st Jan 20185 answers, last by Garaman 13:18 Wed 31st Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Whats The Next Line...

Q, What do you call a bird thats forgotten how to sing ?. A, A humming bird....
10:42 Mon 29th Jan 20185 answers, last by zabado 12:09 Mon 29th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Wild West...

A cowboy rides into an old wild west town and shoots dead an artist. The Sheriff asks him "why on earth did you do that ?" The cowboy says "I thought he was gonna draw"...
23:07 Tue 23rd Jan 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 09:11 Wed 24th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Ha Hardware

I walked into a shop and noticed all the staff were standing around in a huddle chatting. To try to get some attention, I raised my voice a little and said "will somebody please sell me a kettle!" To...
18:47 Tue 23rd Jan 20186 answers, last by Georgiesmum 23:41 Tue 23rd Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Wok You Want ?

I was in a Chinese restaurant the other day, when someone dressed as a duck came over to my table, poured me a glass of red wine and gave me a single red rose and said "you're eyes sparkle like...
17:53 Sun 21st Jan 20185 answers, last by Voltage 09:04 Mon 22nd Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Zombies And Kinks Bassist Dies

RIP Jim Rodford. He will be sadly missed by many!
09:58 Sun 21st Jan 20182 answers, last by Lie-in King 20:42 Sun 21st Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

10P

I can't remember the last time I saw a ten pence coin in my change. Have they been withdrawn ? TIA...
09:00 Sat 20th Jan 201816 answers, last by Jackdaw33 14:41 Sat 20th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Road Tax

If vehicle tax runs out at the end of the month (31st), how early can I pay for it to follow on ?
10:33 Fri 19th Jan 20182 answers, last by Buenchico 10:42 Fri 19th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Electrical One Linner

Q, What do you call a resistor that can't afford to pay rent ?. A, ohm-less......
17:12 Wed 17th Jan 201820 answers, last by Toorak 15:40 Thu 18th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Electric Light Problem

I have a kitchen light that suddenly stopped working. On inspection, the tube was blackened at one end, so I took it to the shop to match it with the correct replacement (28w Osram CFL square)type....
10:12 Sun 14th Jan 201816 answers, last by Togo 18:24 Tue 16th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

Us Eagle

What will happen to the iconic eagle statue that is on top of the old American embassy building ? Will it go to the new site or somewhere else ?...
09:34 Fri 12th Jan 20183 answers, last by woofgang 12:47 Fri 12th Jan 2018
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Chipchopper

In The Park

The park keeper stopped me and said he had just seen my dog chasing a man on a bike. That's ridiculous, I replied, "my dog don't know how to ride a bike!"...
12:39 Thu 11th Jan 20183 answers, last by marval 18:46 Thu 11th Jan 2018

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