Quizzes & Puzzles1 min ago
I saw my ex girlfriend on a trampoline. I think she’s on the rebound. ___ My partner thinks I'm insensitive just because when her cat died I went around singing 'You've lost that loving feline' ___ I...
I bought a second hand car the other day, the floor had completely rusted away, it's not much to look at, but it's a great little runabout
...Yorkshire men buy elasticated underwear?
Cos it says give on the packaging....
I've just been stung by a wasp and the doctor advised me to put some ointment on it. But I think it'll be miles away by now! ___ Just bought an answering machine. But I don't know what should I ask...
I went down to the red light area to 'relieve some tension'... each girls price ranged from £100 to £150, then I saw this pretty little redhead in a doorway, I asked her how much, she said "£25," I...
I popped into the Chinese takeaway last night, the old boy on his own took my order and went into the kitchen to get it started, he then came back and said, what you do for a rivin? Rivin? I asked....
I asked the girl in B&Q, “What’s best for greasy ovens?” She replied, “Ammonia cleaner.” “Oh sorry,” I said, “I thought you worked here." ___ I saw an advert for a coffin, I thought well that's the...
What do you call a podgy psychic?
A four-chin teller....
A Russian woman married a Scottish gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Edinburgh. The poor lady was not very proficient in English but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real...
A man was taken to court for stealing a rainbow, he was given a light prosom sentence
https:/
A thief has been stealing T-shirts to order in my town, from people's washing lines.
Police say he is still at large...
I arrived early at the restaurant last night.
The Manager said "Do you mind waiting for a bit?"
I said "Not at all."
He said "Great, take these drinks to table 9."...
The latest reports from the Internal Revenue service shows that it has streamlined its tax form for the next the year. It goes like this: A. How much did you make last year? B. How much do you have...
My mate Alan was filling in a loan application form last night. He said "I've got a good credit history I reckon I'll walk it.” I said "but your from Liverpool, you'll never walk a loan......" ___ I...
The inventor of the treadmill has passed away. Poor guy never really went anywhere. ___ Son: "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" Dad: "Well Son, you see those 4 trees? Well an alcoholic would see 8!" Son:...
Two statues had been standing in the city square for well over 100 years, one was a male and the other female and they had been facing each other all of that time. One day and Angel came down from...
A man caught a goldfish, "Let me go and I will grant you a wish," said the goldfish. "But I don't need anything. I have a house, a summer house by the sea, cars, a cottage in the mountains, a yacht,...
Paddy and Mick are walking home after a night on the tiles. They've got no money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside the bus depot. Paddy has a...
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: Certainly not! There's no proof of it. Boss: Well, there is now. After you left early to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you....
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