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Shaglene

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Bazile
I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button and I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich...
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Voltage
Quasimodo was running down the street chased by a group of kids. He said, ‘For the last time, I haven’t got your football.’...
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zabado
The early bird might catch the worm, but the second mouse always gets the cheese.
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Voltage
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive...
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Chipchopper
A Frenchman ordered one egg on toast for his breakfast. The waitress later came to his table and asked "are you sure that will that be sufficient sir ?. "Yes, thats enoeuf" He replied....
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Patsy33
People in glass cake shops. Shouldn't throw scones...
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Patsy33
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on........
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Patsy33
I saw my neighbour slumped over the lawn mower crying his eyes out, he said he’d just been through a rough patch....
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Voltage
I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction. My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear' they threw me out!...
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Voltage
Just asked the trainer in the gym, what kind of machine I should use to make myself more attractive to women? He said "the ATM Cash Machine"...
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Voltage
Police are hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed 6 people. They believe he could be following some kind of pattern....
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Chipchopper
I told the Dr, I've been feeling like a hose reel. Why is that he asked. Well, I said people keep using me and winding me up!...
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Voltage
Went to the job centre yesterday and asked if they had any furniture removal jobs? They told me to “Take a seat.”...
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Patsy33
Science reveals that women have cleaner minds than men, because they change them so often....
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Shaglene
A man ordered Turbot at a swish fish restaurant. Halfway through the meal, the waiter came to the table and asked "How are you enjoying the Turbot ?" "Its Brill" the man replied. So sorry said the...
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Patsy33
"Mum, now that I've turned fourteen, can't I now wear a bra?" "No, Harold!"...
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Voltage
I used to know how to make those little fizzy sweets last a long time but then I forgot. So I went on a Refresher course!...
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Voltage
The doctor recently diagnosed me with ‘70s Fever’ hope it doesn't flare up again!...
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Chipchopper
I was walking the dog this morning, down a country lane, when a breakdown truck pulled up on the opposite side of the road. The driver wound down his window to ask for directions. He explained he was...
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Patsy33
Got a waterbed to spice up our love life. Doesn’t work, we’ve drifted further apart....

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