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Shaglene

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bhg481

Poor Paddy

The pub had not been open long when paddy struggled in. The tears flowed freely from his eyes and dribbled down his chin. The publican was most concerned at Pats distressing state. Come in and sit and...
07:23 Thu 06th Apr 20174 answers, last by marval 15:34 Thu 06th Apr 2017
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Patsy33

Blinking...

A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.” Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.” Guy: “Oh, you...
21:55 Sun 02nd Apr 20177 answers, last by DTCwordfan 17:19 Mon 03rd Apr 2017
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Patsy33

Pizza Delivery

When I rang up for a 747 pizza, the guy on the other end didn't seem to know what I was on about. I said, "You know, a large plain please"......
12:38 Wed 29th Mar 20171 answer, last by Shaglene 14:14 Wed 29th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Suit

Just bought a suit made from a cactus. I look really sharp..
14:48 Mon 27th Mar 20175 answers, last by AB Editor 14:08 Tue 28th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Downloaded

I've just downloaded a copy of the Bible from the internet. When I'd finished it said, 'Saved'....
22:49 Tue 21st Mar 20176 answers, last by Baldric 20:39 Thu 23rd Mar 2017
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marval

Bird Auction

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and...
15:19 Mon 20th Mar 20172 answers, last by Shaglene 11:08 Tue 21st Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Sandwich

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He phones the Police and says, 'Bejaysus i've just found a sandwich dat looks like a bomb' Is it ticking, the operator asks No i tink it's...
19:39 Sun 19th Mar 20179 answers, last by vulcan42 10:00 Mon 20th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Thoughtful Scottish Husband.

Ξ Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman who was heading out to the pub? He turned to his wee wife before leaving and said, 'Jackie - put your hat and coat on lassie.' She replied, 'Awe Iain...
15:06 Thu 16th Mar 20175 answers, last by Shaglene 16:05 Thu 16th Mar 2017
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Shaglene

The Young Doctor............

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a...
10:44 Thu 16th Mar 20173 answers, last by Samjenko 11:09 Thu 16th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

High Jump

2020 Olympic high jump results: Gold - Mexico Silver - Mexico Bronze - Mexico...
10:18 Thu 16th Mar 20172 answers, last by -SharonA- 15:58 Thu 16th Mar 2017
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marval

I Nearly

I nearly hit a cat driving my car today. Who on earth taught a cat to drive?...
22:41 Wed 15th Mar 20176 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 10:34 Thu 16th Mar 2017
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marval

Water Bottle

The Lord of the manor had a butler named Wibble. One day he called Wibble and said, "What about running my bath, Wibble?" "Certainly, Sir," replied Wibble. "Will there be anything else my lord?" "Yes,...
21:39 Mon 06th Mar 20177 answers, last by Mamyalynne 01:40 Wed 08th Mar 2017
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Patsy33

I Told My Mum..

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."...
18:00 Sun 05th Mar 20175 answers, last by Shaglene 16:23 Tue 07th Mar 2017
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Dinapal

Mexican Jews

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day. Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?" Abe replies,"I don't know,...
12:55 Thu 02nd Mar 20177 answers, last by Dinapal 10:14 Fri 03rd Mar 2017
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Chipchopper

The Butt Of Jokes

Two old folks sitting on a bench, one turns to the other and says "I think my butts fallen to sleep". The other replies "Yup heard it snore a couple of times"...
20:06 Thu 02nd Mar 20173 answers, last by Shaglene 09:48 Fri 03rd Mar 2017
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marval

What?

What do you call a Pakistani Elvis impersonator? Amal Shukup....
22:54 Wed 01st Mar 20178 answers, last by marval 18:24 Thu 02nd Mar 2017
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marval

Our Vet

Our town vet once neutered fifty dogs in ten minutes. We call him the ace of spayeds....
18:51 Tue 28th Feb 20175 answers, last by Samjenko 15:53 Wed 01st Mar 2017
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Patsy33

Burnt Ears.

A woman was admitted to hospital with two burnt ears. Apparently she answered the phone whilst she was ironing. The doctor asked her how she burnt the second ear. She replied that it happened when she...
19:31 Tue 28th Feb 20176 answers, last by zebo 09:38 Wed 01st Mar 2017
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marval

Genius

A dental hygienist had a family come in one day for their teeth to be cleaned. By the time she was ready for the father, he informed her she had a lot to live up to. His six-year-old daughter kept...
18:07 Mon 27th Feb 20175 answers, last by percy1946 21:24 Tue 28th Feb 2017
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Patsy33

Suspicious

A Chinese man faked his own death, but his family were suspicious, they didn't bereave him....
20:14 Sun 26th Feb 20173 answers, last by marval 15:30 Mon 27th Feb 2017

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